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To Bramastyo Adjie

Bram! How are you doin’ there, Buddy?

Katanya skarang di Jerman ya? Ato Belanda? Ah, kabarnya ga jelas nih. Maklum, denger dari desas-desus.

Inget ga waktu kita main bola, dua lawan dua (which Fe ga mau ikutan lantaran di kakinya waktu itu ada kutil??). Terus gw berhasil nge-gol-in *hallah bahasanya* dan sesaat larut dalam euphoria sampai akhirnya sadar kalo yang gw bobol barusan ternyata gawang gw sendiri! Wakakakakak!!

Hei, don’t blame me. The only sport I’m good at—even until now—was swimming. Soccer was not my field. Satu2nya aturan soccer yg gw apal cuman offside. Itu pun gw ga bakal tau kalo pas ujian Penjas di SMA keluar tiga taon berturut-turut (gile.. yang bikin soal lumayan ga kreatif, totally forgot kalo itu slalu jadi pertanyaan ujian, ato emang sengaja bwt ngebantu mreka2 yang bolot soccer kayak gw, ya?)

Seru ya. Miss that moment..

Bram, lo pernah ngeliat gw dalam keadaan paling down. Lo ada di situ dan being so nice (walopun rada2 rough, khas elo banget), reminded me that life was still exist—istilah lo “membentang luas di hadapan kita”—dan belon waktunya kita nyerah.. Bahwa kita masih dalam proses dan the end hasn’t coming yet.. thank you so much for being by my side padahal elo temen deket dia. Sorry for ruining your friendship with him, I really really didn’t mean it… You were right, Buddy. He was not the sun of my life, and I could go on without him. You can look at me now, alive and happy, surrounded by friends, and I can depend on my self. Once again, thank you so much…

To Averrous Hamim

Inget ga pertanyaan gw waktu kita kenalan?

“Averrous? Apaan tuh?” *tampang bingung*

“……” *ngeliatin gue, ga kalah bingung*

Terus akhirnya dengan pasrah lo nerima klo lo baru aja kenalan ama mahluk bolot dan bilang, “… itu nama gue, Neng.”

Hehehe.

Dan elo pasrah aja gue panggil cukup dengan “Fe”. Sementara aslinya nickname elo tuh “Ferus”. Gue males aja manggil elo “Ave”, kesannya kayak si Brutus Gendutus—or whatever his name was—anak buahnya Julius Caesar di komik Asterix.

Cowok pendiem. Itu kesan gue tentang lo. Yang paling gue suka dari elo tuh komentar lo, “Tssahh”, tiap kali denger cerita orang. Cara lo ngomong kata itu loh, beda banget ama orang, kayaknya kata itu emang dibikin pas banget buat lo. Sekarang sih kata itu udah ga ‘in’, secara kata itu ngetopnya pas jaman-jaman SMA dan orang trakhir yang gue denger ngomong itu ya elo.

Fe.. sekarang lo udah merit ama dia. Congrats deh, salut bisa bertahan pacaran sekian lama dan merit pula. “The first and the last,” itu kata lo dulu. Harre genneh, ada cowok yang bisa ngomong kayak gitu, amazing banget. Masih ada ya cowok model begini??

Sayangnya gue ga bisa ngikutin elo, maklum jodoh gue bukan gue yang ngatur. Gue cuman bisa “the first and the last” secara fisik doang, but it’s better than not, kan?

You were the only person who could stand being neutral in our chaotic world. Satu-satunya yang berpikiran paling sehat dan ga egois. Satu-satunya yang masih memprioritaskan persahabatan di atas emosi pribadi. Satu-satunya yang komunikasinya baik to anyone at the end of our friendship. But still, we lose contact. Too bad, huh? After all we’ve been through…

Miss you..

To Mayoga Prabowo

Kalo disuruh cerita tentang lo, gue punya banyak story. Tapi sebagian besar ga bisa gue buka ke orang.

Susah nyeritainnya.

Physically, lo cowok paling keren yang pernah gue kenal. I have to admit it. Bukan cakep, ya, tolong dicatet. Brad Pitt masih lebih oke ke mana-mana lah dibanding elo hehehe…

Gue masih inget banyak banget temen2 gue (yang cewek, maksudnya) pengen dikenalin. Pas udah dikenalin, rata2 langsung jadi admirer elo, ribut bilang kalo elo “Cool bangeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!”. Ini bagian yang gue ga ngerti. Why you could be so cool before them, tapi tengil banget ke gue??? Ga ada satu pun yang percaya kalo Yoga tuh jail, bawel, ngotot, sok tau, maksa, plus egois? Dan yang lebih parah kenapa mreka ga percaya kalo lo playboy paling eksis on earth?? Kan jelas banget! *masih bingung ampe sekarang*

You’re a guy with dangerous amount of confident. That, I also have to admit it. Mo salah mo bener, tetep keukeuh. Banyakan salahnya, sih. Anehnya gue lebih banyak nurut ama lo ketimbang nolak, sebenernya siapa yg lebih aneh?? Abis serem, elo

kan tukang brantem hehehe.. (Gue ga percaya kalo lo ga bakal mukul cewek, Ga! Mendingan cari aman deh ;p) How did you manage to keep your face ‘clean’ from scar???

Setia kawan elo itu, nomer satu. Gue belon pernah ketemu orang yang ngorbanin ampe abis2an buat temennya. Walopun elo harus bokek, harus bonyok, dan reputasi lo di keluarga ama sekolah jadi jelek. I wonder if you haven’t change…

Gue belon pernah ketemu someone se-gigih elo… sori gue ga bisa, Ga. For the sake of our friendship… friendship yg sekarang udah ga ada…

Suer gue kaget banget waktu lo kirim message ke Friendster gue, minta di-add. How could you find my email address? Gue jadi inget lo dulu bilang, “Alamat cewek? Itu mah sarapan pagi gue!” Dan yg bikin gue tambah heran, I’m the only friend on your friendster. Beneran ya yg lo bilang, lo sengaja bikin friendster address itu cuman buat gue? Dasar gila.

Dan fotonyaaa… plis deh! Masa Playboy of The Year ga berani masang tampang sendiri? Ga malu ama gelar tuh?!

To M Rizal Adrian

So many things I’d like to tell you.

But at the end I can tell absolutely nothing. Well, maybe there’s one thing left to say.

‘Thank you…’

For helping me when I need it.

For giving me courage.

For taking me to places I’ve never been.

For calling me.

For making me cry.

For lullabye-ing me before I sleep.

For starring my dreams.

For pulling me when I’m down.

For being fad on me.

For giving me sweet presents.

For keeping my heart from hurts.

For teaching me how to use old camera.

For driving me home.

For giving me your sweetest smiles.

For coming late.

For being patient on me.

For lifting me up on my rainy days.

For making me upset.

For encouraging me.

For forgiving my mistakes.

For opening my heart.

For lending me books.

For giving me your precious times.

For being my shoulder to cry on.

For picking me up at places.

For smoking me with your stupid cigarettes.

For taking care of me when I’m sick.

For giving me advices.

For telling me stories.

For waking me up on crucial times.

For yelling at me when I made you mad.

For confusing me.

For making me bored.

For standing by my side no matter what.

For arguing me on our fights.

For making me jealous.

For being there when I needed you.

For showing me what mature was.

For following my advices.

For making me worry.

For carrying my bags and belongings.

For being a bad boy.

For cherishing me.

For guiding me all the way.

For providing me shelter and sanctuary.

For bringing me to the world.

For teaching me lessons ‘bout hope, life and love.

For making me find out the true you.

For introducing me to reality.

For hurting me so bad.

For bitters and pains you caused on me.

For ‘slamming the door and never going back’.

For the good times.

For the bad times.

For sharing everything with me.

For being part of my past.

And for loving me,

Whatever that word meant to you.

I’m not the girl you used to know. Hope you glad to hear that.